The Power of Being Over Doing: Lessons from Abroad

Discover how embracing presence can transform your daily life.

Moving abroad can shift your perspective in unexpected ways. One of the biggest lessons I learned after relocating from the U.S. to the U.K. revolves around the difference between doing and being.

The Overwhelm of Anticipation

I used to lie in bed at night, feeling completely shattered from a day filled with mental chatter rather than actual tasks. The trick, I realized, was not the tasks themselves but the incessant worrying about them. This mental rehearsal often led to feeling overwhelmed before even tackling my to-do list.

"The tasks weren't the problem. It was thinking and anticipating and worrying about the tasks that were the problem."

When I first made the move, I carried with me the anxieties from my life in the U.S., which only multiplied with the new challenges of adjusting to a different culture and system. My mind was like a 24/7 podcast that I couldn't turn off.

Finding Clarity in Simplicity

Ironically, what helped me the most was doing less, or rather, worrying less about doing. I started writing everything down, which freed my mind from the burden of remembering and anticipating. By offloading my thoughts onto paper, I could focus on the present task without the noise of what’s next.

"Most days aren't as overwhelming as they feel at 7 a.m. They just feel that way because I exhausted myself worrying about them before I’ve even done the task."

This practice allowed me to see that my day-to-day tasks were more manageable than they seemed when I was in a state of mental chaos. I learned to prioritize what truly mattered and to rest without guilt.

A Different Pace of Life

Living in the U.K. has taught me a valuable lesson about pace. There seems to be less urgency here, less pressure to constantly be productive. I’ve noticed how animals, like my mother-in-law's dogs, don’t carry the weight of anxiety about unfinished tasks. They simply enjoy the moment, a lesson I’ve been trying to embrace.

"We’re the only creatures that figured out how to be busy and unproductive at the same exact time."

This societal difference has made me reflect on how much we impose pressure on ourselves to constantly be on top of everything. I admire how life in the U.K. balances responsibilities with the enjoyment of leisure time.

Embracing Rest and Presence

I’ve come to appreciate that rest is a vital part of my plan. I used to think I had to fill every moment with productivity, but now I recognize the importance of simply being present. The responsibilities of life will always be there, but so should the space to breathe and enjoy life.

"If I can’t or don’t feel like doing the rest of my list, then I won’t."

This shift in mindset has transformed how I navigate my days. I still have chores, obligations, and tasks that need attention, but I’ve learned to give myself grace and allow for rest.

As I reflect on this journey, I invite you to consider how you manage your own lists and responsibilities. Are you busy being busy? Or can you find space to simply be?

Until next time, take a moment to breathe.