British Quirks that Confuse Americans 3/30
- hicksondiaries
- May 5
- 3 min read
Updated: May 6
As an American living in the UK, there’s one thing that caught me off guard almost immediately — the relentless politeness of the British.
No matter where you go — whether it’s a corner shop, a train platform, or a pub — you’ll hear the words “please,” “thank you,” and “sorry” so often that you’ll start questioning if you’re in a social interaction or a politeness competition.
For many Americans, this particular British quirk is both charming and, at times, a little overwhelming. Coming from a culture where communication tends to be more direct, British politeness can feel like a puzzle you’re not quite sure how to solve.
The British Art of Saying Sorry (Even When It Makes No Sense)
Let’s talk about "sorry." In the UK, sorry is not just an apology — it’s a multipurpose word used to express everything from mild annoyance to trying to squeeze past someone in a supermarket aisle.
As an American in the UK, I’ve heard people say “sorry” to:
A person who bumped into them
A dog
A lamp post or bush (yes, really — and I’ve done it too now…)
It’s less about guilt and more about maintaining social harmony. If you're living in England or just visiting, prepare yourself for a daily verbal dance of gentle apologies, even when absolutely nothing has gone wrong.
Thank You, Please, Repeat — A Lesson in British Courteousness
A simple request at a coffee shop might go something like:“Hi, could I possibly have a flat white, please? Thank you very much, cheers, thank you.”
For an American, this level of verbal sugar-coating can feel excessive — like the British are scared to offend by simply existing. But here’s the secret: it’s not insincere.
This linguistic padding is how many Brits navigate social spaces — it keeps things soft, non-confrontational, and quietly respectful. For newcomers, it might feel a little forced at first. But over time, you’ll find yourself doing the same thing. (And maybe even enjoying it.)
Is It Passive-Aggressive or Just... British?
One of the most confusing parts of British politeness, especially for Americans living abroad, is interpreting what’s really being said.
For example:
“That’s interesting” might not mean it’s interesting.
“Not bad” could actually mean something’s really good.
A phrase like “Would you mind if…” is often a polite command, not a real question.
This indirectness is part of the culture — a way of being polite while still getting the point across. If you’re moving to the UK or adjusting to life here, learning to read between the lines is practically a survival skill.
It’s Not Personal — It’s Cultural
To some Americans, especially those from fast-paced or blunt-talking regions, the British politeness might initially feel disingenuous or even passive-aggressive. But that’s rarely the intent.
The excessive "pleases" and "thank yous" aren't meant to patronize — they’re simply a deeply ingrained cultural norm designed to keep things smooth, respectful, and… well, polite.
As you spend more time living in the UK, you’ll start to understand that beneath all the verbal fluff is a culture that deeply values civility, subtlety, and emotional restraint.
Embracing the Polite Life
So, what should you expect as an American living in England? You’ll say “sorry” far more than you ever imagined. You’ll overthink whether to say “cheers” or “thank you.” And at some point, you’ll find yourself saying “sorry” to inanimate objects — and not even blinking.
But eventually, you’ll embrace it.Because once you get used to the British way, you start to see how these tiny, seemingly excessive gestures create a smoother, gentler everyday life.
Final Thoughts: Adjusting to Life in the UK as an American
If you’re an American moving to the UK, visiting England, or just curious about what to expect when living in Britain, prepare yourself for culture shock — not from driving on the other side of the road or the obsession with tea, but from how incredibly nice everyone is... even when they’re lowkey annoyed.
This politeness might seem confusing at first, but it's one of the quirks that makes British culture unique — and something many expats come to deeply appreciate.
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